Hebrews 4:16

Let us then come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need.

Thursday, May 24, 2012

Knocking on the door of summer...

It is the time of year where I find  myself draw out-of-doors, ready to dismiss any needs within the confines of my home.  It is almost summer, and well.. technically, if you are in my home.. Summer has arrived.

We have finished another year of homeschooling.  My oldest is completing her sophomore year of  high school, certainly ranked as one of the most difficult in a long time. I am trusting His Word which reminds me that He is working for our Good, because HE IS Always GOOD, and that He has  plan of hope and a future for her life. For all our lives, really. I look at her and see a young woman who wants to break out and is looking for permission to crack the shell. It is scary and exciting all-together. I think of what she has walked through in this life and know that she has a purpose that is beyond my scope of understanding.

Our middle child has survived his 1st year as a 7th grader. Whew!I have been given a small glimpse of this man of God  he is becoming, it is a balm to my heart.  He continues to amaze me as he grows, not only in character but in height  ( and appetite!... when did this happen that I can't make enough food?) He certainly makes my heart sing when he says, " Mom I love it when you make this..."  Note to self: teach him how to make his beloved meals so my future daughter-in-law doesn't ever have to hear how his mom makes something. :) Yet he blesses my heart with his sensitive spirit. Even now I see the man who wants to seek after the heart of God, like David, but needs the Hand of God to direct his life. His not-so-secret passion in life ... to be a Master Lego Designer.

Our youngest has the most bold and confidant personality of all three of our children. She knows who she is. She is delighted by life. She wakes up with joy in her heart and a song in her spirit. She is a worshipper, since a young age. She has compassion and discernment for such a young person and  the resolve to see good in everyone. I wish I was more like her in this. Well, more like the Father.  He sees the Good in His children.. He has faith in those whom  He loves. She's finishing 4th grade with a flair, as only my artist/scientist could.  Her recent question, among many throughout the day, " Mom.... can I have a stainless steel desk so I can do my chemistry experiments. I really like to mix things together."  I smile, the science-loving-momma in me doing a dance of joy.. and then reign it in so I can respond with wisdom. " Umm... we need to be careful to know what we are mixing together, so maybe we should still have some supervision with experiments. But, I'll think about the stainless steel desk."  Her reply, as non-nonchalant as ever... "Well, ok  mom. Just remember I need a lab to practice chemistry and art some time."

Here are some thoughts to ponder:

Are you finishing your year? 
Have you felt as if it was all you had hoped it would be?
Do you have regrets?
What were your goals?
What were you praying for?

As I ponder and consider the questions above  I am drawn back to my early days of home education and the worry I felt at being enough for my children.

No matter what, we will never be enough.
 No matter what, we will make mistakes. 
No matter what, we all need the hand of the Father guiding us and leading us on.

I spent time in the Book of Colossians and Isaiah yesterday in my quiet time. I LOVE how the Word fills us up and meets us so specifically with wisdom from the heart of our Abba.  I have been contemplating the faith of people like Job, Rahab, David, Solomon, Esther and Ruth. We have read glimpses of their lives, just pictures really, of the poignant and relevant place they each held in HIStory.  

I think about Timothy's mother and the desire in her heart to teach her son about the Lord. I consider the call in Deuteronomy to teach our children in all ways, in every way, of the One who is the pursuer of their heart.

I think about this great call to be a mother, to pour into the lives of living vessels and always pointing to the Holy One..... and I am undone.

 How can I do this right? 
How will it work out?
 What if they don't get enough of  something? 
Are they going to be able to get in to a good college? 
Will they go to college? 
What about the things they are missing? 
What about .........

This is a sin in my life... Worry. I have taken my eyes completely off of the ONE to whom I am beholden.

As I sat before the throne, I was drawn to the second chapter of Colossians. As always, my God, met me there. He comforted my heart and he drew me into his embrace. 

 He reminded me that:
 He is interceeding for me. ( Col. 2:1) 
He desires that I would be comforted and full of wisdom. ( Col. 2:2)
Treasure, Wisdom and Knowledge are found ONLY in Him. ( Col 2:3)
His spirit is with me as I stand in faith. ( Col 2:5)
He is reminding me to walk IN Christ, not  my own power. ( Col 2:6)
He is calling me to be rooted and grounded in  Christ and not this world. ( Col.2:7)
He is reminding me to be aware of  what is true. ( Col. 2.8)
He is the fullness of God. ( Col 2.9)
I am made complete in Him. (Col. 2:10)

When I fix my eyes on Truth... I realize that the questions fade away. I can trust that when I have given my heart and my future, my plans and my hopes, my dreams and my desires to the Lord... that He is trustworthy.  He has a desire much greater than I have for my children to be successful. They are His representative in this earth.  

So I come back to the knowledge that every day is a new day.. full of His mercies. (Lamentations 3:23) A day I can choose to rejoice in my King, to live for His glory and to share His love.  

Teaching my children has been the hardest, yet most rewarding experience I have ever had. There will be days of missteps and mistakes, but there is always a time of healing and refreshing when we go to the Throne.  

We are days away from truly stepping into a summer break for our family, a true break. One that we all need and I can say that we have had a fruitful year of learning, loving and living... growing, bending, and healing.... of knowing Him on a new and more intimate level.  That alone makes this year a success.

I am going to begin posting a series on Support from a small e-book called " Authentic Support" on my website, which will be launching soon.  www.journeysingrace.com I'd LOVE to have you join me. Watch for more information. There will be fun articles, helps for your homeschool and devotions on prayer for the homeschooling mom, and we can't forget the recipes!

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